In Solidarity with Palestine

On the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People, I am reminded of the story of a friend from Palestine. It is one story and one tragedy in a multitude of similar stories and uncountable tragedies, that is Palestine.

Hers was the story of her parents. Two people who decided to give their two daughters a better life by protecting them from Israeli guns and aggression in the only way they knew how, to leave their home in Nablus and become refugees in a neighboring Arab country. On the day of their exodus, her father could not accept leaving the land of his ancestors to make room for European, Russian or American Jews who, with every new step they took on a land that was not theirs, trampled over the many lives that once lived there, lives forever lost under the dust and dirt of foreign shoes. So he decided to stay. He made no promises to follow his family and they did not stand at gates or stare through windows awaiting his arrival. After all, they were Palestinians, they understood that with the creation of the State of Israel, things, especially families, fall apart. My friend often said that as brave as her mother was to leave, her father was brave to stay. Her parents were never united again, though they remained married for forty-three years, until the death of her father. Her mother has still not returned to Palestine, but my friend has. With a new passport in hand, she travelled to Palestine, to her old family home to collect a few of her father’s possessions and to pay her respects to a man she never knew.       

It is not only because of these kinds of stories and struggles that we stand up in solidarity with the Palestinian people, but we do it to remind the international community of its obligations toward the Palestinian people.

On 29 November in 1947, the United Nations (UN) adopted a resolution, which came to be known as the partition resolution and provided for the establishment in Palestine of a “Jewish State” and an “Arab State” with Jerusalem as an international city. I prefer to call that famous UN resolution 181, the resolution of dispossession because we all know what has happened since. Only one state, Israel, has come into being, and it has come into being through the systematic dispossession, oppression and occupation of the Palestinian people.The Palestinian people are yet to fully exercise their inalienable right to self-determination, their right to independence and sovereignty, their right to return to their homes from which they have been dispossessed and their right to absolute statehood.

Recognizing the legitimate struggle of the Palestinian people, the UN in 1977, thirty years later, adopted a further resolution to observe, 29 November as the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian people and called on the international community, governments and civil society to do likewise.

In observance of this day- amongst the many messages of support, the many political rallies and human rights demonstrations that will be held, the many cultural events and exhibitions that will be attended, and even the twitter feeds and facebook updates, let us remember the Palestinian mothers, who work tirelessly to raise their children, and Palestinian fathers who make the ultimate sacrifice, their families, all in the name of freedom and dignity.   

White Ribbons

For most people White Ribbon Day is the name of a song released in 1997 by a rock band called Delirious. For others, White Ribbon Day is a symbol of hope for the elimination of violence against women.

On 17 December 1999, the United Nations designated 25^th November as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. A day set aside for communities to carry out activities to raise awareness of violence against women and to campaign for its elimination. On this day men and women are called upon to wear a white ribbon or a white wristband as a visual symbol of their commitment to prevent violence against women. Men and boys are encouraged to take an oath swearing never to commit, make an excuse or remain silent about violence against women. This is an important first step because after all, we women are their mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters, colleagues and friends.  

So in support of White Ribbon Day and the elimination of violence against women, wear your white ribbons faithfully and commit to treat all women with respect, dignity and consideration. 

Marry for Love

My mother always said I would marry for love, and it wouldn’t matter to me if he were the gardener or the street sweeper as long as he loved me. She was right. A little less than a year ago, I got married (not a gardener or street sweeper) and I married for love.

Most of us marry for love, or at least for some other reason of our choosing, perhaps money or status. All of that is acceptable as long as the marriage contract is mutually agreed upon by the two people forming a union. But not everyone in the world is allowed this kind of choice.

The unlucky are the ones like the 15-year-old UK citizen that went to Bangladesh at the beginning of the summer holidays for a family wedding but when she got there she was stripped of her passport and forced into marriage by the threat that her father would kill her mother if she did not. The 12-year-old Afghan girl forced to marry a 65-year-old man because he had money and status and if she refused she would bring shame on her family and be killed--just another honor killing statistic. The woman in Kazakhstan that was kidnapped and forced into marriage, raped by her husband and kept as a slave by his family. The 16-year-old girl from Ethiopia who fled to the UK with nothing but the clothes on her back because her father forced her to marry his brother's eldest son when all she wanted to do was be a teacher. And let's not forget the girl that set herself on fire in Turkey rather than enter into a forced marriage.

What is this murky world of forced marriages? Where do these practices take place? And why in the 21st century are we still reading about these tragedies in our newspapers and hearing about them on our televisions?

Forced marriage is a marriage that takes place in which one or both of the persons is married without his/her free consent or against his/her will. It is a problem that occurs mainly among young women and girls, although there are cases of young men and boys being forced to marry. It is a practice that, whilst less common among the wealthiest in the world, is most prevalent in South Asia, Africa and the Middle East. Due to immigration patterns, it is also practiced amongst these immigrant communities living in the USA, Canada, UK, and in EU countries. The practice also persists in the independent countries of the former Soviet Union such as Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan.

Forced marriage is a violation of human rights because it dehumanizes people by denying them their right to choose. It leads to discrimination and violence against women and girls, and often endangers their health and well-being. Closely related to forced marriage is the practice of child marriage, whereby a minor is deemed incapable of giving informed consent and so consent is given by an adult, sometimes under traditional and cultural duress and sometimes because of tradition and culture. 

Now that we know what it is, the next question should be: What has been done about it? 

Numerous international legal instruments as well as regional and national instruments condemn the practice of forced and early marriage and uphold the requirement for the free and informed consent of both parties to a marriage. The Protocol to the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights on the Rights of Women in Africa calls on African countries to enact legislative measures guaranteeing that no marriage shall takes place without free and full consent. The Protocol also stipulates that the minimum age of marriage for women shall be 18 years. Similarly, the Council of Europe defines early marriage as the union of two persons, at least one of whom is under 18 years of age and recommends that 18 years be the minimum age for marriage, and that the Council consider criminalizing acts of forced marriage. The United Nations Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) mandates free will and consent of both parties, the specification of a legal minimum age for marriage and that the marriage of a child has no legal effect.

In addition to laws, all the major world religions condemn forced and early marriage. The Catholic Church deems forced marriage as grounds for an annulment of the marriage, and according to Islamic doctrines, forced marriage violates the basic tenet of an Islamic marriage, which is the free and full consent of both parties to the marriage.

Despite these laws and the existing religious opposition, the practice of early and forced marriage continues. The main reason the practice persists is because of tradition and culture. And because tradition and culture has not evolved in terms of international human rights standards and norms, and are often inconsistent with the principles set forth in the Charter of the United Nations and in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Another reason is lack of education. These harmful practices, wherever they occur, in all settings, within or outside the family, continue in communities that are historically patriarchal and where the empowerment and education of women and girls are not a priority.

How can we change this harmful practice of forced marriage? We must stop invoking custom, tradition, or cultural considerations to avoid our human obligations with respect to the elimination of discrimination and we must refrain from using tradition and culture to justify violence or even to stand silent in the face of violence being committed. We must educate and empower women and girls and we must use our voices to speak up for those that can’t – the voiceless victims of forced marriage. 

Because at the end of the day, shouldn’t every parent want that which my mother wanted for me –to see their children marry for love?